I NOW UNDERSTAND!

To My Mother & Father

I am sorry!

I am sorry for any and everything I have ever put you through.  Any worry, any pain, anything at all.   I now understand that you were doing your best and everything you did was because you loved me.  I understand how little I understood and how unaware I was in my righteous tween, teen, and even early adulthood years.  I now understand how clueless I was and, in many ways, still am.  How the lenses and perspective I viewed the world through had no understanding of the pressures and challenges you faced as parents, as adults, as providers for both yourselves and your children.  I now understand that you actually understood exactly what I was going through, based on your own experiences, as I stood on my pedestal of immense childhood wisdom thinking “they just don’t understand.”

The only differences between my early world and yours were wrapped in the music of the day, the technology of the day, and the culture of day.  We view this “generation gap” of the cultures as immense and uncrossable when in reality it is quite small and only widened by the foggy perspectives of the two generations in question and their inability to lift the fog and see how we are both playing out the exact same passage on a slightly different stage.

I love you.  I appreciate everything you have done for me.  I appreciate every single action you took, knowingly or not to help me traverse the path from childhood to adulthood.  Your every action was out of love, by love and for love because that is the fuel for this thing called life.  You were and still are growing and traversing the precarious journey of life as you tried and continue to try to guide me as well.  You only had and have the culmination of your experiences to guide you.  Dependent on the book of law any one individual may adhere to they may judge some of your actions and condemn them as “wrong” when in the end there is no “wrong” in love.  There is only action and every action can receive a positive reaction if one so chooses.  I now understand that you loved me unconditionally and because of that I am a better person.  Thank You.

To my children (to all children, to everyone)

I am sorry!

I am sorry for any and everything I have or will ever put you through.  Any judgement, any pain, anything at all.   Please understand that I am doing my best and everything I do is because I love you.  Someday, you will understand how little you understood and how unaware you were in your righteous tween, teen, and even early adulthood years.  I must understand how I was just the same at this point in the journey of life.  The stage and supporting characters were slightly different but the passage was exactly the same.  The lenses and perspective you view the world through have no understanding of the pressures and challenges faced by parents, by adults, by providers for both themselves and their children.  As you sit there and think “they just don’t understand” – please consider that we have been down this same path on our own journey.  Please – BE SKEPTICAL!   The path has been worn since we last passed the milestone you are at.  The creek we simply walked across may now have eroded to be a raging river that could sweep you away to unknown danger if you were to cross as we did.  There are parts of this journey that are unique to you and we must be aware of that fact.  But please also – LEARN TO LISTEN!  We traveled this path and may just want you to take a different direction than we did because we love you and don’t want you to have to face the cliff up ahead that we encountered on our journey.  Conversely, we have to be open to the fact that you may either enjoy the challenge of said cliff or it may not even exist anymore.

We live in a world of seven billion (7,000,000,000) souls and perspectives.  Each of these perspectives are built on the accumulation of their (limited when considering the whole) experience and “knowledge.”  None of them are either “right” or “wrong.”  Unfortunately, (from my perspective which is neither right or wrong) this means you will face 1000′s or more of these 7,000,000,000 judges.  Each of them trying to force their bias and perspective on the other 6,999,999,999 souls.  Most are not trying to force their perspective out of tyrannical desires but actually out of love, corrupted and conditional love, but love nonetheless.  Be skeptical, learn to listen, but never take their words personal.  They are only one perspective out of 7,000,000,000.  My intent is not to judge you, not to force my bias or perspective on you, not to make you follow my exact path.  My intent is to guide you best I can by sharing my experiences which you can do with as you wish.  Since I am just as fallible as the next and because I love you and worry about you it will most likely come out sounding like judgement and bias at times.  Please know that my love for you is unconditional and I never mean to judge you and I will also never judge myself based on yours or anyone elses limited experience.

I love you.  I appreciate everything about you.  I know you are doing your best.  Your every action will have a reaction which may be positive or negative depending on both yours as well as the perspective of anyone else involved.  My hopes and wishes for you are that you find the awareness to always find the positive reaction to every action you are faced with.

Love always,

Your Son – Your Father – Your Friend – Your Fellow Soul

 

What’s your perspective?  Who’s words have you used against yourself?  Who might you enjoy apologizing to?

BIAS

1_25_2013_BIASOK, my handwriting leaves a bit to be desired.  Its a work in progress.  Lined paper will help.

What’s your bias?  Are you sharing or compelling?

SILENT JOURNEY

The Journey Has Continued (albeit silently)

It has been over 5 months since I posted on JTC.  The Journey as of late has been hectic, amazing, frustrating, wonderful, challenging, educational, and as always divine.  Every journey, every person is divine in their own way (and own mind).  In the end it has simply boiled down to priorities.  It always does.  There are only so many hours in a day and most of us have conflicting demands on those hours.  I have been debating lately if this project has served its purpose.  Is it time to officially discontinue this blog?  Then I read the concept and all prior posts again.  What an amazing impact the process has had on my achieving set goals, on my effort to maintain balance, on my journey to convergence.  I need to continue with JTC with large hopes of helping others achieve the same success while at a minimum just keeping my progress and journey focused on that point of convergence.  The point is infinite and not achievable, but the journey in that direction is the point.

HOW?

I have reaffirmed the “Why” behind continuing JTC.  Now the question becomes “How”?  How do I find the time to keep up with posting and sharing here when the list is already so long and stressful that my mind is swirling day in and day out.  How do I commit to posting on a regular basis when 5 months have passed since my last post?  I could give it a higher priority but that’s a little tough when I have to worry about priority #1, the other priority #1, and then there is that other priority #1.   The plate is overflowing so how do I make room for this?  What gets pushed off the plate to make room for posting?

In the past a post could easily consume 2+ hours of actual time spread across multiple days.  Write, edit, re-write, edit, double think, edit, re-write, delete, start over….   Then there was the searching for a related picture to insert into the post.  That can be eliminated for the most part.  If a picture inspires a post then it can certainly be included but there is no real reason to expend precious time on the reverse, seeking a picture to align with a post.  But there is still the writing….wait a minute….I write nearly every morning.  I am a bit of an early bird.  I start nearly every day thinking out loud in words in my journal.  As of late its been a lot of “How the heck do I get this all done?” but it is part of the art working towards balance and convergence.  I love the feel of pen to paper.  I love the flow of the ink as I write the words.  I enjoy it far more than typing onto a computer screen.  All my previous posts have been written on paper before typed into the blog.  That transition from paper to computer is where much of the edit, re-write, edit, double think, edit, rewrite, delete, start over comes into play.  What if I just scan and post my morning writing?  Efficiency and re-purposing of an existing activity to increase the value of that activity!  LOVE IT!  I’ll need a new journal where the pages are not bound but that’s an easy fix.

SO BE IT! 

So the Journey continues.  It has proven too valuable to me and my progress to not continue the art for my own benefit along with the hopes of my sharing possibly helping anyone else looking for balance and convergence.  I am going to give the scanning process a shot.  I can’t commit to how long or how often but its worth a try.

Feeling overwhelmed with too much to do and not enough time to do it?  How do you balance your priorities and optimize your time?

 

WORDS FOR ALL!

NOT JUST FOR TEENS

Yes, they desperately need to listen, hear it, and DO IT, but Teens are not the only ones that could benefit from this message.  I am referring to this  image of  a news article floating around Facebook that is supposedly “Words for teenagers” from a New Zealand Juvenile Court Judge.  There is also a posting of these words on this blog and in the comments someone provides a link to what appears to be the original from a Juvenile Court Judge from Denver printed in a Dear Abby column.  Regardless of who first wrote these words, they are spot on and need to be spread.  And spread to all:  teens, 20-somethings, 30-somethings, hell I know a few 40,50,60-somethings that could really use this message.  Here is how it was written in the Dear Abby article: (with a little added typographical emphasis)

“Always we hear the plaintive cry of the teenager: What can we do?…Where can we go?  The answer is, GO HOME!

Hang the storm windows, paint the woodwork.  Rake the leaves, mow the lawn, shovel the walk.  Wash the car, learn to cook, scrub some floors.  Repair the sink, build a boat, GET A JOB!

Help the priest, minister or Rabbi, the Red Cross, the Salvation Army.  Visit the sick, assist the poor, study your lessons.  And then when you are through – and not too tired -READ A BOOK!

Your parents DO NOT OWE you entertainment.  Your city or village DOES NOT OWE you a living.  You OWE THE WORLD something.  You owe it your time and energy and your talents so that no one will be at war or in poverty or sick or lonely again.

In plain, simple words, GROW UP; quit being a crybaby.  Get out of your dream world and develop a backbone, not a wishbone, and start acting like an adult.

You’re supposed to be mature enough to accept some of the responsibility your parents have carried for years.  They have nursed, protected, helped, appealed, begged, excused, tolerated, and denied themselves of needed comforts so that you could have every benefit.  This they have done gladly, for you are their dearest treasure.  But now, you have no right to expect them to bow to your every whim and fancy just because SELFISH EGO, instead of common sense, dominates your personality, thinking, and requests!

IN HEAVEN’S NAME, GROW UP AND GO HOME!”

Now the overarching message here is spot on, but I would edit a few pieces of it if it were my message.  There are a few pieces I don’t completely agree with or feel need a bit more emphasis:

“GO HOME” – Since I believe this message is for all, not just teens, lets clarify “home” – No one owes you a home.  And for the minors – the definition of home is a sanitary place that protects you from the elements; not some elaborate dwelling you most likely refuse to help maintain anyway.  Be grateful for what you have, help maintain and protect what you have and stop expecting someone else to provide it for you.  Unless you are reading this from a desolate desert in a third world country (which is doubtful) – someone, somewhere has it much worse than you and they are probably more grateful for what they do have than you are.  It is fine to want and dream for more as long as you – yourself – are willing to work hard and EARN that “more!”

“Paint the woodwork” – Ummm, teens check with your parents before you go painting the woodwork.  Everyone else, check with your wives.  It will save you a lot of grief.

“Learn to cook”  - And clean up after yourself when you are done!

“Build a boat” – Do you NEED a boat?  If so, have at it.  Otherwise, there are probably better things to do with your time.

“Help the priest, minister or rabbi, the Red Cross, the Salvation Army.” – Seems a bit limited – you could also help the priestess, imam, sensei, Manbo,  or swami.  The Red Cross and Salvation Army are fine but how about the local youth organization or food bank.  Hell, how about just helping out your neighbor to start.  No excuses – they are right next door!

“study your lessons” – Just wondered if anyone still calls them “lessons.”  Do your homework (I know it sucks but DO IT), study for that test, learn a new skill, research that project you have been daydreaming about.  “Compete with your current self to become your future self!”

“READ A BOOK” – When you are done with that book  - READ ANOTHER BOOK, and another – journey to places through words you may never have a chance to physically visit or to places that may not even exist anyway other than through words.  Learn, Read, Learn, and Read some more!

“Your parents DO NOT OWE you entertainment.  Your city or village DOES NOT OWE you a living.  You OWE THE WORLD something.  You owe it your time and energy and your talents so that no one will be at war or in poverty or sick or lonely again.”  - just felt that needed repeated!

“Get out of your dream world and develop a backbone, not a wishbone, and start acting like an adult.” – Last one.  I really struggle with this line.  I get the intention but lets face it – there are plenty of people “acting like adults” under the societal definition of “adult” that are causing many of the problems in this world.  Never lose your dream world.  It contains your dreams and your dreams may be exactly what stops war, poverty, sickness, or loneliness.  Just remember that you are responsible for making your dreams come true.  No one else can, will, or needs to do it for you.  Keep your wishbone along with your backbone.  Wishes create dreams and dreams create beauty.  Never, never, never stop wishing and dreaming, but again realize YOU have to make it happen!  As far as acting like an adult – unfortunately it really feels like that is synonymous with stale, judgmental, boring, elitist, and selfish.  Start acting like the self motivated, self disciplined, independent, divine talented person that you are.  Don’t expect anything from anyone, give all that you can, and always be grateful for what you have been given.

Your true entitlements are few and wonderful.  You will find them in many nations constitutions or declarations although most of their governments have lost sight of them.  You are entitled to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of happiness.  That’s it and stop conveniently overlooking the part about “pursuit”.  You are not entitled to happiness, you are entitled to the pursuit of happiness.  To pursue something usually takes some effort on your part.

How are YOU going to start your pursuit today?

 

 

POSSIBILITIES ARE CERTAIN

ONE MOMENT AGO…

…certainty reached its pinnacle point.  Unless and until time travel is possible it cannot be changed.  The event is absolute in certainty. However, the impact it has on your NOW and future is still open to change.  Even if time travel was possible most would agree that the uncertainty of what changing the smallest aspect of your past could potentially do to the future of not only yourself but also to the future of those you have loved and cared for is far too high of a risk to take.  The possibility of  The Butterfly Effect is certain.  Note:  I did not say the effect is certain – the existence of possibilities (infinite possibilities) is certain.  And that is the point of this post.  Rather than dwelling on what we cannot change, why not instead take the opportunity to change your perspective on the events and the impact they have on your NOW and future while embracing all the possibilities the uncertainty of tomorrow brings?

CERTAINTY & POSSIBILITIES

Much like Yin Yang, Certainty and Possibilities are complimentary opposites.  Life – just like the weather is full of uncertainty.  It is this uncertainty that most fear causing them to spend enormous amounts of energy worrying.  The farther out you look the less certain things become but along with that uncertainty comes endless possibilities.  As certainty descends – possibilities ascends.  It is my hypothesis that the same holds true for the past in reverse.  As you look farther and farther back the certainty descends and possibilities ascend in the vein of perspective.

 

 PERSPECTIVE

How can certainty of the past descend?  That depends on your perspective.  The event itself is certainly unchangeable but how you view it, how you allow it to impact your NOW and future is far less certain.  It seems to reason that the older the event the less certain its impact on your future becomes along with the greater possibilities of changing your perspective.  Wounds can heal and become scars of wisdom – if you let them.

Are you allowing past events ruin your present gifts?  Have you left what should be “scars of wisdom” to fester as open wounds?

THANK YOU!

Thank you for the EXPERIENCES!

Both Blissful and Sorrowful.

Both Joyful and Depressed.

Both Genuine and Uncertain.

Past Experiences

No regret nor remorse, only valuable lessons learned!

Present Experiences

Gifts of life and living!

Future Experiences

The possibilities are limitless!

Thank you for the PEOPLE!

Both Benevolent and Antagonistic.

Both Supportive and Harmful.

Both Trustworthy and Corrupt.

Past People

Critical characters in your story and growth!

Present People

Shoulders to lean on or challenges to overcome!

Future People

The possibilities are limitless!

Thank You for ABUNDANCE!

Both Discernible and Indistinct.

Both Realized and Unrecognizable.

Both Experienced and Witnessed.

Past Abundance

It was there to nourish you!

Present Abundance

Open your eyes to see it!

Future Abundance

The possibilities are limitless!

THANK YOU!

What are you grateful for today?

KNOW WHEN TO ROW AND WHEN TO FLOW

LOOSE ENDS

Loose Ends pierce and slash us attempting to convince us that the path is impassable.”

They are the true burden of the mind.  We avoid and procrastinate when in the end whatever reasons we have for avoiding are just a fraction of the burden that the Loose Ends are on us.

We are all guilty of it at one time or another.  The release of just taking a step and having control of some sort of forward motion is nothing short of wonderful.

Get it done!  Get it off your mind and in a plan!

KNOW WHEN TO ROW AND WHEN TO FLOW.  Even in a strong current there can be a potential and very possibly a NEED to steer.

What if IT…

What if IT ended?

Would you dwell on the loss

…or revel in the joy you experienced from IT?

Do you waste precious moments worrying about the what if

…or focus on enjoying IT?

Would you take the loss personal

…or be grateful for what IT gave you when you had IT?

Would you question IT?

Are you questioning IT?

STOP!   ENJOY IT!   LEARN FROM IT!   FIND IT!

What is IT?  That’s up to you to fill in or find out.

So what is IT for you?

THE PAST IS PAST

Ouroboros

There is a mystical archetype called the Ouroboros that comforts my soul and calms my mind with its symbolism.  I look to it as a representation of how I both hope and strive to live my life.  It symbolizes the need to apply a finality to the past and a need to let go, forgive,  and continually renew on this journey called life.

Here is a small excerpt from Wikipedia:

 

The Ouroboros (or Uroborus)[1] is an ancient symbol depicting a serpent or dragon eating its own tail. The name originates from within Greek language; οὐρά (oura) meaning “tail” and βόρος (boros) meaning “eating”, thus “he who eats the tail”.[2]

The Ouroboros represents the perpetual cyclic renewal of life, and infinitythe eternal return, and represents the cycle of life, death and rebirth, leading to immortality, as in the phoenix.

Markings of Wisdom

I would add “forget” to that list of interpretations, however it is not a complete obliteration as the term “forget” would imply.  We need to forget the specific event and its details obliterating all the pain and judgement those details may invoke in us while still retaining the wisdom that past experience provides.  They make us stronger if we retain the wisdom but can actually weaken and debilitate us if we don’t let go and continually relive the details and negative impacts.   The past is past – learn and live!  Grow and teach!  Let the markings make you a better person not a lessor.

They are markings of wisdom on our soul.  Some are beautiful  and elaborate artwork tattooed on us for eternity.  Others are scars of past trauma’s that have made us who we are.  None of them need to be open wounds robbing us of what we can be.  Don’t give them your power!

The Four Agreements 

Just as the Ouroboros consumes and digests its tail taking on only the nutrients it provides – we too must consume and digest the past only retaining the nutrient wisdom it provides.

One of my favorite and one of the most impactful books in my life is The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.  It is a quick read that is so complex in its simplicity that I am confident anyone can find at least a few positive points to take away from it in their pursuit to master the dream of their life.  The Four Agreements are simply:

  • BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD: Speak with integrity.  Say only what you mean.  Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.  Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
  • DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY: Nothing others do is because of you.  What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.  When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
  • DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS: Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want.  Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama.  With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
  • ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST: Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick.  Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse, and regret.

Clean the space for renewal as the Ouroboros does and live the present and future with The Four Agreements in mind, that is my intention, hope, and will.  If you would like to pick up a copy of The Four Agreements you can do so by clicking on the image below. (affiliate link, all affiliate revenue will be donated to a worthy charity).

I highly recommend the book to anyone seeking relief from the unproductive drama’s of day to day life.  You won’t be disappointed.

Are you allowing your past to be an open wound or scars of wisdom?

CONVERGENCE BEAT TYPE 2 DIABETES

The second ring of the Health point of focus on my 2011 Convergence target was to have an average blood sugar of 140mg/DL with medication.  I am both proud and pleased to share that I not only achieved that goal – I BEAT IT!  My average reading for the last four months is down to 100mg/DL and it is completely med free.  I am extremely grateful to have this in check without having to worry about the possible long-term side effects of the medicines previously needed to keep it in healthy range.  There was a a lot that went into accomplishing this goal but the most important step was setting the goal!

“In absence of clearly defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily acts of trivia.”

The Secret

I whole heartedly believe in the power and magic of manifestation.  But it is only one piece of the puzzle.  It is a very powerful piece that can accelerate the achievement of your goals and dreams by both telling the universe of your desires and then surrendering to the flow of the energy to manifest those desires.  I do, however, worry that too many proponents of manifestation are selling it as the only step necessary as if you can focus and visualize your dream and then just sit on the couch with a bowl of chips and wait for it to be delivered like a book ordered online.  Not quite that simple.  Definitely tell the universe of your desires, surrender to the flow of the energy, but then listen to the universe on what your next actions need to be and DO IT!

My Journey

I tell the universe of my desires and visualize them through the convergence target.  The target covers many areas and lots of ground but the universe clearly directed my energy towards the highest priority.  I didn’t consciously prioritize where to focus, it just flowed.  In hindsight it makes complete logical sense that my first order of business needed to be fixing my body and subsequently my mind as a predecessor to achieving the desires in the other points of focus.  I could research and even execute some actions in the other areas but body and mind had to be top priority.  They all flow together and are interconnected, complimenting and supporting one another as my good friend Lou highlighted in his guest post.

So I went with the flow and it continues to pay dividends.  Through my actions and focus to beat this malady I actually brought the entire “Health” point of focus into convergence through diet and exercise.  This was my “Health” point of focus as proclaimed on January 17, 2011.

 

It is now not only fully complete but actually exceeded.  I am probably in the best shape of my life.  Even better shape than my Army days since my weekends no longer consist of consuming mass quantities of dark German beer like they did back then.  Now its time to regroup and proclaim my 2012 desires in the form of a convergence target and see where the universe takes me.

What are your desires for 2012?  How will you manifest them into reality?

ITS UP TO YOU!

 

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