The “Family” point of focus has really been stumping me for a while now. Mostly because its the one area not completely in my control as well as an area I have to consider others when it comes to how transparent I am. I know there is unlimited potential for improvement and it is one of the areas I feel is very out of balance causing more stress than necessary but at the end of the day the answer my very well just be perspective.
SUCK OR RULE?
I have been doing a lot of research on family life as I try to identify the goals to bring the family area of focus into convergence. Here are few common themes. The problem is depending on the perspective we either really, really SUCK or we RULE!
- Spend time together: Is it quality or quantity? We most likely SUCK at quality and RULE at quantity. The kids are so active that nearly every free moment is attending and supporting someone in their endeavors and passions. Its great but is it quality time? We need to find time to just get away from it all, relax, talk, learn, connect!
- Let your imperfections show: Wow, we may RULE so much at this one that we SUCK. :)I have to say if there is one thing you cannot accuse my family of – its being anything other than ourselves no matter who is around. I, at times, feel like a little “filtering” could be in order. On the flipside many of the kids friends have told them that they think our relationships and candor is awesome and simply REAL. Perspective? Could be.
- Eat a meal together: I read in one place that you should eat together at least 5 times a week. Really? I would like to see the family schedule for whomever wrote that. If that is the metric to be measured against then we SUCK! That is not a realistic goal but we do need to make a conscious effort to squeeze in a few sit down meals. When it comes to juggling crazy schedules and getting it all accomplished we RULE! Does fast food in the car on the way to the next activity count?
- Appreciate each other: My initial response to this one would be we unequivocally SUCK! It very well may be the main area in need of improvement and most likely the area that would pay the largest dividends. Every member of the family RULES in their own accomplishments. If we could just appreciate the efforts and accomplishments of the others and use that combined energy to further our individual progress – the results would be limitless.
- Work towards a goal together: With “together” being the operable word I have to say SUCK with plans to RULE. A few common examples I came across in my research are actually items we are in the process of implementing. Things such as working on a budget, creating a chores plan, volunteering together, and working on home projects.
- Laugh together: This is one that no matter how hard anyone or any family RULE’s there is room for more. There can never be enough. Laughter is a powerful antidote to stress, pain, and conflict. Just increase the amount of this one and everything else should fall into place.
This one really is stumping me. It has actually been in draft form for over two weeks now. I am going to have concede a few things and move on:
- It’s not totally in my control but my perspective and reaction’s are totally in my control. I need to work on those and see what the results may be. That in no way means I have to accept that which I know is wrong – I just need to find a better way to communicate my disapproval.
- There should be some easy wins in working on some goals together and appreciating each other. We’ll see – I have a feeling there is going to be some “kicking and screaming” but its worth a try.
- Quality time is foundational and in need. I need to plan a family “get away.” I cant remember the last time we did something together as a family. Here again – I expect that the teens will have to be dragged “kicking and screaming.”
- Its not black and white. I am not going to be able to create progression goals for this one. Its not totally in my control.
Time to hit “Publish” and stop thinking I am going to identify some “silver bullet” and detailed plan for this one. I will update any progress on this one here.
I could really use some help on this one. Does your family SUCK or RULE? What do you do to create a healthy, happy family life?